I always have a hard time trying to organize the things that I write on here. I feel like I have all of this great information but I just can't figure out how to spit it out in a way that is coherent. To solve the problem I have decided to give up on trying to be coherent and just work on saying what I want to say. I hope it works out. So in our class we've moved from weddings to marriage to married without kids to married with kids to trying to stay married to affairs and what to do to avoid having problems in marriage to marital intimacy to teaching your children about marital intimacy. And that is where we are. There are a lot of things that we have learned about that I really like. I have been inspired about so much awesome in this class that I think my brain might explode. I think that the best way to do this is to take specific concept and talk about them individually and in no particular order. I know I wouldn't be able to articulate how they all interconnect at all, so I'm just going to explain about them (or at least what I know) one at a time:

Roles, rules, and expectations: In every married relationship, the couple should talk about the roles, rules, and the expectations that they are thinking will go with the marriage. The families that they each came from probably had different family cultures and unspoken rules that they adhered to. As a couple it is important to talk about what you want to carry over into your new family. Another important thing is to talk about what each expects of the others. If you have a husband whose mother always had dinner ready before his dad got home from work, he might be expecting that of you. Not because he is mean and wants to be bossy, but just because it is sometimes hard for us to understand that not all families are the same and that you husband might think that a wife is supposed to do one thing and you might think that a husband is supposed to do another. It just gets messy. It is really important to figure out what each of you is thinking and how you are going to structure your new family.

Build a picket fence relationship: It is way important for married couples to have the kind of relationship that has clear boundaries and attempts to keep unwanted intruders out. A husband and wife should learn to depend on each other and build their relationship together. Clear boundaries should be set that let everyone know that you two are in it together and that you are not to be split apart.

Don't question the character: It is so important that we don't start letting our interactions with our spouse become blaming and labeling. If we are thinking or talking about a specific issue, stay focused on that issue and don't start bringing things back to the character of your spouse. If your husband has forgotten to put his socks in the hamper ...again don't make the issue about his nature. Don't say “My husband is so sloppy; he never puts his socks in the hamper. He doesn't even care enough about me to try to keep the room clean. He doesn't appreciate anything that I do. He is and awful husband." I know that this is a pretty extreme example but I hope I've made the point. When the issue is about sock, keep it about socks. This isn't about your husband’s huge character flaws; it’s about a pair of sock. A couple can work through a problem about socks, but it would be a lot harder to deal with a problem about a wife who thinks her husband is sloppy, unappreciative and doesn't love her enough to keep the room tidy. Keep it with the issue at hand and don't let it be about the character.

I've run out of time but I'll be back and keep ranting soon.